CK Lynn

Hmmm. I liked it, but I would agree it isn't very connected. Maybe add a stanza after the first.

Liked them.

FYI: Title changed.

Good beginning. Needs more.

Interesting. It wasn't too cliched like a lot of poems about death/parents leaving/abandonment.

Feels more like a very short story than a poem. Try fiction.

I like it, but it ended with too much spirit and "could have been" feeling and not enough essence.

Hmmm... It was different, but ended too quickly for us to know much.

Thanks for the advice.

Thanks for the crits!

I really liked it :)

Hmmm...it's alright, but not really my style.

Waaaaay too long. The lines I had the most problems with were 3 and 7. Interesting subject, though.

I really liked it, but maybe you should add another verse?

*cute*